START YOUR OWN MINISTRY FOR FUN AND PROFIT!
by Brother Randall
originally published in the print version of Snake Oil # 4, 1995
In a review of Snake Oil, one writer referred to yours truly as "bored accountant by day, televangelist wannabe by night." What can I say? And I'm sure, like me, many other Recreational Christians have toyed with the idea of "going pro." Well, if you think you've got what it takes - charisma, a good speaking voice, a background in sales - I have three books to recommend to you, the budding religious broadcaster.
The first, ironically enough, is Hank Hanegraaff's best seller Christianity in Crisis, a scathing indictment of what he calls "fast-food Christianity." But read with the proper perspective, this book becomes a textbook for Televangelism 101. Hanegraaff exposes and defines for us the doctrines of the Faith Movement, and the Faith Movement, my dear partners, is where all the money is. The book's cast of characters reads like the Fortune 500 of the Name It and Claim It racket: Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, Frederick K.C. Price, John Avanzini, Robert Tilton, Marilyn Hickey, David Cho, Morris Cerullo, Paul Crouch...
In his careful analysis of the points of contention between the Faith teachers and more traditional, conservative Christianity, Hanegraaff has, in effect, isolated and revealed the very ingredients, the secret recipe as it were, for this most profitable doctrine. I'm telling you, this book could save you literally YEARS of sitting in church or going to Bible College. But it can't be that simple, you say. Maybe not quite, but remember: you're fishing in a stream -- the same basic message will work over and over as new souls float by... ready to pay for what you have to say! That's a WORD for somebody. Of course Christianity in Crisis goes on to shoot holes in the Faith Movement -- you may skim these parts, or read them for extra credit.
For a real treat, get the audio version of this book which integrates over 120 sound bites from such industry heavyweights as Tilton, Hinn, and Copeland into the narrative. Both the book and the tape set should be available at most Christian bookstores.
The second book you'll need is the annual National Religious Broadcasters Directory of Religious Media. I believe you'll have to fork over about $50, but this book is a veritable goldmine. It's a 350 page source book and directory of Christian radio and television stations, electronic media producers, print and music producers, periodicals, and products and suppliers for all aspects of the Jesus biz. If you happen to be interested in producing your own radio program, for instance, you have here about a hundred pages of station listings, so that you can compare watts, air time rates and demographic information in different markets, along with phone/fax numbers and key personnel to contact at the stations. You could be on the air in Zebulon, North Carolina for less than you'd think. If God's telling you to go the direct mail route, you can buy mailing lists from several companies listed here. You can also find someone to print up those ministry mailers too. Want to start a Christian fund raising telephone boiler room? No problem. It's in the book! To get your directory, call the NRB at 703-330-7000.
The third book I would recommend in this trinity of texts is How to Form A Nonprofit Corporation, Inc. by Anthony Mancuso for a step-by-step guide for setting up shop in any state and getting that coveted IRS 501(C)(3) status. Although this book is no substitute for actual legal council, if you have your filings ready to go and just get a lawyer to review them, you'll save some money that could be better spent on air time or a mailing list. One bit of advice on locating a suitable lawyer: monitor your newspapers for local religious scandals which often mention attorneys. Give Ôem a call, and you'll probably at least get a referral, and they can also point you in the direction of a good accounting firm to help you keep track of all the money you'll soon be raking in!